“RM” by Kim Namjoon as a Thesis of Personal Identity — An Exploration
Every song, once publicly released, is like a snapshot of a fragment of time. Humans are not born to be stagnant. Our thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions, even of ourselves, change with time. Kim Namjoon, known mononymously as Rap Monster and then RM, explores the many facets of his personal identity through his first mixtape released in 2015, two years into both his adulthood and a professional music career.
Perhaps the mixtape can be considered a musical “resume,” highlighting not only his talents in lyricism and rapping, but also an expression of personal experience. In a 2015 interview with Singles Magazine, RM described “RM” as a thesis of self-identity; a representation of 2015 Kim Namjoon and his self-image, ideas, and perceptions of the world at the time. He said that the tracks on the mixtape “say that I’m like this right now, I’m this kind of person and I’ve lived like this, but I’m having these kinds of thoughts right now. And in the future, I’ll be [someone unknown].” Touching on concepts of authenticity, duality, mortality, self-discovery, and identity, the mixtape takes listeners on a journey of self, not only of RM’s self, but their self as well.
Kicking off with “Voice,” this track serves as an introduction to RM’s transition from a disillusioned student tired of the ad infinitum of life in the conventional education system to an empowered youth, reclaiming his voice through music to speak to those who will listen. The title of the song, “Voice,” perhaps best encompasses what this mixtape is: RM speaking his mind through music. It’s a song that is simultaneously a reflection and a promise of putting the pedal to the metal and moving forward through life with purpose.
“Voice” is laid over a mellow backing track, which makes the sonic feel of the following song “Do You” come as somewhat of a surprise to the listener. If “Voice” is a quiet declaration of self-transformation and a promise for the future, “Do You” is a fierce and self-assured declaration of determination to maintain integrity and authenticity.
With regards to the theme of identity in the mixtape, “Do You” is perhaps the central thesis. With the continual repetition of “Do you, do you, do you, Do the fuck you want” in the chorus, the lyrics not only express how RM defines his personal sound of an artist as “Not pop…not rock…not funk…not R&B or hiphop” but also RM’s desire for everyone to live by their own rules, including himself.
As a former underground rapper, RM was frequently criticized for allegedly abandoning artistry in favor of making idol music, which is stereotypically thought of as being shallow or insincere. In this song, RM leans into the identity of an idol-rapper, essentially saying that there is nothing wrong with being who you are, doing what you do and that others should mind their own business and work on themselves rather than be critical.
With regards to the impact the song’s message is intended to have on listeners, RM raps “In life, a defined genre is a trap…because you become a fool right at the moment you’re caught in it.” This is a clever play on words, but also an extension of the idea RM touches on in “Voice,” that stagnancy and perpetual repetition in life should be avoided. He encourages everyone to follow their dream and to stay the course, regardless of the opinions of naysayers who don’t understand and blindly criticize.
Reflective of the duality expressed in the cover image, “Awakening” can be thought of as the darker side of “Do You.” While still maintaining the acceptance of an idol-rapper with the lyrics “Yeah fuck you I’m an idol, yeah yeah I’m an idol, I hated it at one time but now I love to get that title,” the song discusses the loss of friends as a result of personal choices and bitterness because of their callousness, regret for past actions and ideas, and a fear of “falling” from grace. Yet, it ends on a more hopeful note, that even while living in a “cold world” that things should be taken one day at a time so that eventually the metaphorical sun of hope will shine.
Self-assurance would be a mild description of the central theme of “Monster.” At the time of release, RM was still going by the moniker Rap Monster, the connotations of which he fully embraces in this track. Full of clever rhyme schemes and wordplay, the song demonstrates RM’s prowess as a lyricist and rapper. Describing himself as “R to the M I’m a mu-fuckin monster,” RM asserts himself and fiercely disses his critics with creative insults and bellicose jeers.
“Throw Away” is comparable to “Do You,” as both songs implore the listener to take actions towards self-determination. In “Throw Away,” it’s a call for the listener to get rid of their internal prejudices which RM compares to old fossils. Essentially, by “throw[ing] away all you have” with regard to body and mind, you can build yourself anew. This comes across as reflective of what RM touches in in “Do You,” his personal transformation of self.
“Joke” is a song that you could describe as its title and RM does. The lyrics don’t make that much logical sense, but are intended to be that way in order to highlight RM’s technical rapping skill. The way the song is arranged is in order to facilitate a good rhyme scheme with some double entendres thrown in for flair. Essentially, the focus is on the sonic feel rather than the lyrical interpretation. The lyric “This is a meaningless wordplay” essentially summarizes the song.
“God Rap” is the mixtape’s hidden track which is primarily an expression of RM’s theological views. RM is a self-proclaimed atheist, which is a theological identity that can be simplified into the sure belief that there is no god. Although some perceive the song as sacrilegious, due to RM stating that he is his own God, this can be interpreted as a metaphor for total self-determination. In other words, RM is saying that the only person who can control his fate is himself, through his actions. This was further substantiated in an interview with HIPHOPPLAYA where RM says “The idea is that I am the one who decides my destiny.” He spends quite a bit of the lyrics discussing the importance of self-determination and responsibility, rapping “the thing that saves me, the enemy that pushes me… they are all me.” At its core, this can be interpreted as the only person who can be blamed or celebrated for the turns of our personal fate are ourselves.
“Life” feels like a natural extension to “God Rap” in terms of discussion of more theological and philosophical concepts. RM is sometimes called a genius, which he is quite literally due to his IQ of 148. In an interview about this mixtape, RM rejects this notion, saying that people’s perception of his alleged genius derives from his public expression of his more abstract and philosophical musings, like a “philosopher in a small room.” If that’s the case, this song probably embodies that side of RM the best it can be considered his meditations on mortality, loneliness, and uncertainty.
RM describes life as a transaction, where in order to stay alive we keep death as the collateral payment. He uses the juxtapositions between light and dark as a metaphor for the very firm duality of mortality. Extending this theme of duality, RM compares the world to a decalcomania. This is a technique used by surrealist artists which can create symmetry by pressing paint between two sides of a singular paper. Essentially, the point is made that there are two sides in life to everything and they often remain in harsh contrast. Of note, the artistic concept of decalcomania is somewhat comparable to the visual structure of the mixtape’s cover.
The rhetorical questions in the lyrics invite the listener into introspection, but also philosophical contemplation. The seemingly simple question “Were we born to be wrong?” leads to questions about morality and what lessons can be learned through being wrong. “Were we born to live? Were we born to die?” is even more abstractly thought-provoking.
RM also reflects on the seemingly inherent loneliness and solitude of life with lyrics like “Why would there be no antonym of loneliness? Perhaps it’s because we never have a moment of [not being lonely] until we die.” He also lyrically grapples with the constant uncertainty that comes with being human, rapping “What it’ll be like tomorrow, we never know for our entire life.”
“Life” is the natural precursor to “Adrift” which is a track that touches on many similar themes such as loneliness and mortality. In contrast to songs like “Do You,” this track is not declarative at all. Instead, it contains many rhetorical questions about the meaning of life and the subjectivity of happiness. It is a song that is grounded in uncertainty and is neither pessimistic nor optimistic. Like “Life,” it is representative of RM’s philosophical ponderings where there are no true answers.
“I Believe” is a song that serves as a natural conclusion to the mixtape. It summarizes the messages of each track: criticism of society, personal identity, philosophical quandaries, theology, revolting against prejudice, introspection, and self-determination. The final lyrics of the song perhaps summarize it entirely: “Wherever I am, whatever I do, I believe.”
“RM” is a chapter in Kim Namjoon’s bildungsroman, a coming of age story. In many ways, it is a musical “resume” in terms of exhibiting true talent as a rapper and lyricist, but in some ways, it is also comparable to a diary in the way it discusses personal life experiences and philosophies. RM’s initial description of his work as a thesis of personal identity is apt. To listen to “RM” is to look at a snapshot of the ideas, philosophies, and perceptions of experience from the camera of Kim Namjoon in 2015.
Lyric Translation Credit: DoolsetBangtan
Listen to “RM” here.
